How to help a Grieving Pet

 Just before Thanksgiving, my grandmother passed away due to cancer. We were able to get some of her things in order before she passed. This included taking care of her dogs and making sure they went to good homes. I was worried about them at the start, about how they would handle the loss, the changes, and the grief. Fortunately, they all went back to their previous owners, people they know and who know them, and they are doing quite well last I checked.

 Do animals grieve? You bet your pretty floral bonnet they do.
Growing up on the farm, observing wildlife in their natural environment, and studying my own pets, I have seen plenty of animals grieve over the loss of a pack member or friend - animal or human.
Every animal has a different response to loss. Some show hardly any signs of grief. Others grieve worse than the rest. It is heartbreaking to see them cry and mope around, waiting for their friend to come home. They always recover and their grieving times are almost always shorter than that of humans, but how do you comfort a pet while they are grieving?
Here are seven easy tips that I have learned over the years with my own pets:

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1. If possible, give them closure.
   Animals need closure, just like we do, but they can't be simply told that someone has died. They will understand that someone is missing, and they will sense your grief, but they won't altogether understand. They need to smell it to understand it. That's right - death has a smell, and animals can smell it better than we can. If it is possible, let the pet see/smell the deceased.
   If you have to euthanize another pet, take your surviving pet and let them witness it, or see the body afterward.
   If a family member has died, if it's possible, let the pet smell an article of clothing or a blanket the person was wearing when they passed. They can also smell through a casket, however I don't think I would ever suggest taking a pet to a funeral, unless is was very closely bonded to the person who died and/or very well behaved (or it was a service animal of the deceased, in which case it was not a pet, but a partner).
   This part is not always possible to do, and that is okay. You can still help a grieving pet without giving them definite closure.
2. Keep the routine as similar as possible.
   Animals, wild or domestic, are all about routine. Losing a pack member, animal or human, is a big change, but if you can keep the routine as similar as possible, it will help the grieving pet cope better with the change.
   Feed at the regular times, walk at the regular times, play at the regular times, give treats at the regular times, etc.
   If you are taking in someone else's grieving pet, you might not know what their routine was. In that case, watch them closely and learn. Pets are very good about cluing you in on what their routine was.
3. Spend more time with your pet.
   Increase walking times. Spend more time playing.
   When I still had my two ferrets, Popi and Ting-Ting, the latter became the unfortunate victim of a terrier dog. I was in New Mexico at the time and could not be there for Popi, my surviving ferret. When I returned home, my siblings informed me that Popi had taken up biting and being a nasty little bugger. I knew she was only grieving the loss of her best friend. So, with a great deal of patience, I spent a lot of time holding her, petting her, playing with her, and taking her outside. I got her new and exciting toys, and I made her some fluffy new beds (very exciting things for a ferret). I also corrected unwanted behavior and rewarded good behavior. Within a week, she was nearly back to her old self.
4. Ignore unwanted behavior, reinforce good behavior.
   If your pet does not want to eat, do not try to tempt them with human food, or extra treats. Simply let them be. They will start to eat again at some point, as long as they are healthy (if you are very concerned, you should take them to the vet).
   If they spend time crying, just ignore them. Trying to console them while they are crying might only make it worse.
   When they are quiet and relaxed is the best time to pet them and talk to them, because you are reinforcing good behavior while they are in a reasonable state of mind.
5. Don't try to fill in the hole.
   If a beloved pet has passed away, one of the first things we humans do is consider finding another animal to take its place and become a buddy for the surviving pets. This is not a good idea. If a human family member dies, the last thing you want to do is go find another human to take his/her place. In the wild, if a wolf dies, the pack does not go find a new wolf to add to their ranks.
   Give your surviving pets a few months to cope with the loss of their pack member before adding another pet to the family.
6. Let them know who is boss.
   If my sister were to die suddenly, I would probably take in all of her Golden Retrievers. No matter how grieved I am by the loss of my sister, her dogs would need to know that I have things under control and I am the pack leader now. Here are some tips on how to do that.
   If one of my sister's dogs were to die suddenly, the whole pack might experience a hierarchical shift. The dogs might need to establish a new pecking order, which would possibly mean some loud, angry sounding arguments. I would monitor them to make sure no one got hurt, but otherwise, I would leave them alone and let them sort it out. This is part of the pack's overall grieving process, and it must happen.
7. Give them time.
   "Time heals all wounds" is as accurate a saying for pets as it is for humans. Some pets might need extra space as they process their grief. Others may be more clingy. Others still may form some behavioral issues because of their grief. Give them time and give them patience. Heaven knows we all need both every once in a while.

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